I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
