She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
