is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
