I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We had to coat check the pizza.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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