If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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