You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
