u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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