I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i will never coherently bang her
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
