Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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