Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
