i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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