my vag is so smooth its legendary
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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