Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
