Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
