Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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