We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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