3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
