Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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