so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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