I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Randomize
