the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
