Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
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