And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Be still, my beating vagina.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
