I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
