Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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