i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
