We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
