I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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