People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
