So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
