i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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