belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
