she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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