dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
