i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
