When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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