in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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