I think I just saw someone hide a body.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
