he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
