If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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