Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
