I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
