Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
