What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
