i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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