check it out our google latitudes are spooning
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize