This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we're making bets on your personal life
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
