What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
