Joe is yelling at the trees again.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
