please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I didn't shave. On purpose
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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