My first STD was from a foam party
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
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