If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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