I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
