I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
