shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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