Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
