Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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