It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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