I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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