yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Drake has all the answers
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
